


Sweatpants Season

by aretia



Series: Bureaucratic Holiday Gifts [4]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Beelzebub Has a Vulva (Good Omens), Consensual Non-Consent, Drunk Sex, Dubious Consent, Gabriel Has a Penis (Good Omens), Oral Sex, Other, Penis In Vagina Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Sexual Harassment, Sexual Roleplay, Size Kink, They/Them Pronouns for Beelzebub (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:02:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27991956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aretia/pseuds/aretia
Summary: Beelzebub isn’t one to keep their thoughts to themself, so when they see a jogger in the park with a sizable package showing through his sweatpants, they can’t resist making a comment about it. They don’t expect him to take it as an opportunity to teach them a lesson about catcalling.
Relationships: Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Series: Bureaucratic Holiday Gifts [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2034811
Comments: 7
Kudos: 32





	Sweatpants Season

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Melibe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melibe/gifts).



> Melibe, your writing and your worlds and your friendship are a blessing. Every fic you write is a fresh perspective on Ineffable Bureaucracy that sheds light on a new angle of their dynamic, and I can count many of them among my favorites. You are also an incredibly awesome and accomplished person, and you should be proud of everything you do, both in the fic world and otherwise.
> 
> This concept started as a silly take on [this post,](https://temptation--accomplished.tumblr.com/post/634408974119272448) and turned into a tribute to Melibe’s exquisite CNC. I wrote this as a roleplay, but it’s ambiguous at first, so if you don’t like noncon, please tread carefully. Let me know if there are any tags you think should be added.

Beelzebub had gotten kicked out of the bar. They had staggered through the park on their way back to their apartment, and when they realized that they were too drunk to make it home, they had passed out on a park bench for a couple of hours. Now, the pleasant buzz of the alcohol was giving way to a throbbing hangover, and the sun rising bright and demanding behind the alabaster clouds did not help matters at all. They situated themself in a somewhat upright position on the bench and watched the people going by, people for whom the day had just begun.

Beelzebub saw one such person approaching, and immediately knew that they hated him. He was jogging at a brisk pace, dressed in a pale gray tracksuit. The people who trudged through the park in business suits on their way to work would come in droves later, and Beelzebub could almost sympathize with them. But people who didn’t have to wake up early for any reason, and did it anyway to exercise, Beelzebub loathed them with a passion. Anyone who would willingly put themselves through that much suffering had something wrong with them. He was even smiling, as if he enjoyed it. He was, without a doubt, an enormous dick.

He jogged closer to the bench, and Beelzebub’s eyes widened. That was actually an enormous dick. Outlined by the gray sweatpants, the thing stretched alongside his thigh, bouncing in time with his steps. They had to hold in a giggle as he ran past. He had to know, right? He _had_ to know. And somehow, in Beelzebub’s still half-drunk mind, this thought morphed into the irrepressible urge to tell him. 

“Hey, giant prick, did you forget your underwear this morning?”

The owner of the enormous dick turned around, and looked at Beelzebub with a steely glare that they were sure he thought was intimidating. “What did you just call me?”

“Are you a shower or a grower? ‘Cause if you’re a grower, you’d have to get that thing classified as a weapon of mass destruction.”

“I have a name, you know. It’s Gabriel,” he said.

“Don’t care, didn’t ask,” Beelzebub said coolly, ignoring the way their heart rate sped up when he approached the bench in a few long, quick strides.

“Then what do you think you’re doing making lewd comments about my body in public?” he said. “It’s objectifying. You don’t care who I am as a person.”

“Don’t act so high and mighty about it,” Beelzebub scoffed. “You’re just offended to be on the receiving end for once. You look like the kind of man who slaps your secretary’s ass and gets away with it because you’re sleeping with the head of HR.”

“I assure you, I do none of those things,” he said adamantly. “My coworkers consider me a paragon of virtue.”

“Sure they do,” said Beelzebub, unconvinced. “The point is that you could, looking like that. And no one would challenge you on it.”

Gabriel leaned over them on the bench. “Oh yeah? What do you mean by that, hmm? Do you think I look good?”

“I never said that,” Beelzebub huffed, looking away from him.

He placed his hands on the backrest of the bench on either side of their shoulders, bracketing them in. “Really? Because your eyes are saying something else,” Gabriel pointed out. “You can’t stop checking me out. My eyes are up here.” 

They met his eyes again with a fierce snarl and a fiery blush on their cheeks. It was true that they were staring, but it was hard not to. Their position on the bench combined with his imposing height put them at eye level with his crotch. They couldn’t help gazing at the bulge in his pants, imagining despite themself how it would feel to have something of that size pressed up inside them. The way he leaned over drew even more attention to it, as if his body was a painting and he was posing specifically to lead the eye to his absurdly huge package. 

“You’re the one who put it on display,” Beelzebub retorted, although the heat had drained from their voice and their breath came in short gasps due to his proximity. “Those sweatpants leave nothing to the imagination.”

“Oh? Are you saying I was _asking for it_ because of _what I was wearing?_ How regressive,” Gabriel said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “While we’re at it, what kind of message do you think you’re sending, sitting here all alone in the park?”

“Shut up, I can handle myself,” Beelzebub snapped. “I don’t need any help telling you to fuck off.” They meant it to sound defiant, but they didn’t believe the words even as they left their mouth. They were pinned in place by Gabriel’s stare like a fly on a display board.

“But you don’t really want me to,” Gabriel replied. “You’re still looking. Why just look when you could touch?” He reached down and grabbed their wrist, then placed their hand over his crotch.

Beelzebub gasped, stunned first by his boldness, and then by the feeling of the massive bulge underneath their palm. They felt its firmness through the soft fabric of the sweatpants. Gabriel’s running clothes were cashmere, because of fucking course they were. No ordinary cotton sweatpants would be good enough for this colossal prick, either the one wearing them or the one between his legs. They traced the outline of it with their fingers, gave it a brief squeeze.

“You’re a freak of nature,” they said, their voice coming out breathy and whisper-quiet. “What can you even do with that?”

“I can do plenty with it,” Gabriel said. “Want me to show you?” 

Then, he slipped his arms under their knees and the back of their shoulders, and lifted them up from the bench. Beelzebub squirmed, but the alcohol still in their system made their limbs feel heavy. He carried them towards the shed that housed the public restrooms. 

“You know, I don’t understand catcalling,” Gabriel said, as if he were talking to someone else besides the only other person present, the one who was in his arms. “Why make a sexual comment about someone if you don’t actually want to have sex with them? You’re like a cat who chases canaries and doesn’t know what to do with it now that you finally caught one.”

He was right, Beelzebub did feel like they were in a cat and canary episode of a cartoon show. Except he was the cat in this scenario, toying with them for his own amusement, and they were the canary, completely at his mercy. But they weren’t as helpless as a bird. They could bite back. 

“I could scream,” they said. “Then everyone would know that your reputation isn’t as squeaky-clean as you make it out to be.”

“No, you wouldn’t,” Gabriel replied. “There’s no one around in this park to hear you. Besides, then you would have to admit that you’re not as independent as you think you are and there’s something you can’t handle by yourself.”

Beelzebub’s blood ran cold. He had known them for minutes and already laid bare one of their deepest insecurities. They bit their lip, and let him carry them to the restroom without another protest. 

Inside, it was dingy, like all public restrooms in parks are. Gabriel locked the door behind him. Then, he bent down and slid Beelzebub out of his arms onto the dirty floor, where they kneeled in front of him, muscles frozen in shock, nerves sparking with anticipation.

“Don’t look so afraid. This is going to be good for you,” Gabriel said, rolling up his sleeves. “I’m going to teach you a lesson, but I’m not going to punish you.”

“I’m not scared. Don’t flatter yourself,” Beelzebub spat, in defiance of the tension in their limbs. 

Gabriel’s mouth pulled tight into a thin frown. “I see you haven’t learned when to keep your mouth shut, so I’ll have to give it something better to do,” he said. He rolled down the waistband of his sweatpants, and let his cock spring free. 

Beelzebub got an answer to the question that had started this mess. He was, against all logic, a grower. If they thought his dick looked big in his sweatpants, their initial estimate was nothing compared to how formidable it looked now.

He reached down and pushed his fingers into the slack corners of their mouth. “Come on, work with me here,” he said while prying their jaw open, and they considered biting down on his fingers, but that would just get them a mouthful of blood and no escape from their situation. Once their mouth was open wide enough to fit that monstrosity, he pushed it inside.

They had expected him to be rough. They had expected him to fuck their mouth hard enough to make them choke and cry. They hadn’t expected him to slide the tip in slowly, then stop a few inches short of the base, like he was expecting them to do all the work. “You can use your hands if you need to. I know it’s a lot to take in all at once,” he said, stroking their hair in an eerie mockery of reassurance. His hand on the back of their head was gentle, not forcing them to take him in deeper, but still firm, holding them in place and keeping them from sliding off entirely. He kept a tether of control wrapped around them, with just enough slack to give them the illusion of choice. 

Feeling as if they were in a trance, Beelzebub did as they were told. They let drool leak out from their lips around the massive intrusion in their mouth, and then used their hand to smear it on his shaft. They wrapped one hand around it, and moved it in time with their mouth as they bobbed their head on his cock. With their other hand, they squeezed his ass. He stumbled forward in surprise, and put his free hand out to catch himself against the wall. The knuckles of his hand behind Beelzebub’s head scraped against the tiles. “Careful there, you don’t want to hit your head,” he said, ruffling their hair.

If they didn’t already have his cock in their mouth, they would have spat at him. They were tired of him holding back and hiding underneath a veneer of false compassion. They wanted him to admit to what he was doing, using them for his pleasure and nothing more. They didn’t expect him to feel remorse, but they at least wanted to carve away at that pristine image of himself he’d crafted in his mind. To do that, they had to make him lose control. 

They took his cock deeper into their mouth, felt it scrape against the back of their throat. They fought back the impulse to gag on it and lapped at the underside of it with their tongue. His fingers tightened in their hair, and his breath caught in a jagged gasp. “Fuck,” he muttered, jerking his hips forward. Beelzebub found a sick satisfaction in that momentary lapse of inhibition. Then, the hand on the back of their head moved to their forehead, and pushed them off. “You’re going to make me come if you keep going like that.”

“Isn’t that what you want?” said Beelzebub, wiping their saliva from their lips with the back of their hand. Their knees were sore from the rough texture of the cement floor, but it was worth it when they looked up and saw the flushed, overwhelmed look on his face.

“But don’t you want to feel this inside of you?” he said, stroking it idly now that he no longer had Beelzebub’s mouth around it, in need of constant stimulation. “I know you’ve been thinking about it since the moment you laid eyes on it.”

They weren’t about to try to deny that. How was it that he always seemed to be able to read their mind? “Just finish yourself off so that we can be done with this,” Beelzebub said.

“No, no, we’re doing this the proper way. I want to attend to your needs, too.” He still spoke in such soft tones, like he thought he was doing them a favor. What little composure they had managed to strip away from him by sucking his dick had returned, his gentle facade back in place.

His hands hooked underneath their legs again. It was a familiar sensation now, being carried around like they weighed nothing. He set them down on top of the counter next to the sink, and brought his hands to their fly, unbuttoning it and working their trousers down their legs. He cupped their crotch in his hand. “Why would I ‘finish myself off’ when you’re so wet for me?”

Fuck, he was right. They were soaking through their panties, and he could feel it on his fingers when he pressed against their cunt through the fabric. “Are you saying I’m… _asking for it?_ ” Beelzebub growled. They repeated his phrase back to him with as much bile as they could muster, but that wasn’t much when they gasped for breath every few words. 

He pushed the crotch of the panties aside, and dug his fingers into the wet heat waiting there. Beelzebub involuntarily jerked forward and moaned when his fingers hooked inside them, stroking a spot that was already painfully sensitive with arousal. He placed his hand on their hip to keep them from falling off the counter. “I see you’re still a loudmouth,” he said. “We’d better do something about that.” 

He tugged their panties down to their ankles, and let them drop to the floor on top of their pants. Then, he placed his hand over their mouth. Beelzebub flicked their tongue out and licked his palm. Gabriel laughed, but didn’t flinch or pull away. 

“How cute,” he said. “Don’t resist. This will be good for you.”

Beelzebub tried to clench their thighs together, but he parted them easily with just one of his strong hands. His fingers traced along the sensitive skin on the inside of their thigh, guiding his dick to their entrance, and then he pressed inside.

Again, they expected rough. They _wanted_ it rough. They wanted it to be like diving headfirst into a pool of ice cold water. Let it shock their body, get it over with, and then climb right out. But the way he moved so slowly was like stepping into the pool and sinking in inch by inch. An infinitely worse torture. Not only because each press inward set off sparks of pain like he was ripping them open, but also because they were dying to know what it would feel like to have him completely embedded in them, and he was making them wait for it.

Finally, the base of his cock met with their opening, and he was fully inside. He held perfectly still, like he was letting them get used to it. As if they could ever get used to that overwhelming sense of fullness, so all-encompassing that it blocked out any other thoughts in their head. Then, he began to rock his hips back and forth, still tearing into them with every movement, but this time with flashes of pleasure mixed in with the pain.

Gabriel’s face was against their neck, kissing, biting, leaving marks. “You’re lucky that I found you before anyone else did,” he said, his breath hot against the damp skin. “You were drunk, I could smell the alcohol on your breath. And you’re so tiny. Anyone could have taken advantage of you.”

It was true. Most people who had a body that looked like Beelzebub’s wouldn’t walk home from the bar in the wee hours of the morning and then fall asleep on a park bench. They were too scared, or perhaps, too smart. Beelzebub carried themself in a way that made them feel like no one could touch them, intimidating in demeanor to make up for what they lacked in stature. They liked to think that they weren’t afraid of anything. But this man had shown them what they were really afraid of. Not the way he touched them, but the way he peeled back their armor like he saw through it from the start. The way he dug down to their core, saw the emptiness within, and filled them up with everything they needed but couldn’t ask for. The thought made a couple of tears break free from the corners of their eyes.

To their chagrin, Gabriel noticed. His lips moved up from their neck and kissed their cheek. He wiped a teardrop away with the thumb of the hand that was covering their mouth. “That’s it, just let me take care of you,” he said. “Now that I’ve got you all to myself.” 

His breath hitched, his voice growing ragged. He was coming undone too. He kept rocking into them, still agonizingly slowly, but hitting a spot deep inside them with such relentless consistency that it eventually brought them to the edge. 

The orgasm wasn’t blinding. It wasn’t life-changing or even the best they had ever had, but it was the only one they’d ever had that felt like that. It didn’t feel like falling, didn’t feel like he had thrown them off a cliff. It just felt like getting out of the water. 

But after the relief of emerging from cold water, there came the realization that it had numbed senses that were now screaming, followed by a new chill of air hitting skin. Their body shivered once it had unwound from the heat of arousal, and so they did the only thing they could do, and reached out for Gabriel. Their arms wound around his shoulders, their legs captured his waist, and they buried themself in the warmth of his chest.

His hips stuttered in a staccato rhythm, and then with one last thrust and a grunt, he went still. He pulled his softening cock out of them, and the emptiness ached after being filled so soundly. He removed his hand from Beelzebub’s mouth, wrapped his arms around their waist, and kissed them. 

Like everything else he did, the kiss was gentle, but this time, it didn’t feel like he was holding anything back. It was a rush of affection, protectiveness, desire, all pressed into Beelzebub’s mouth by a pair of softly insistent lips. He tilted his head, parted his lips, and invited them in, and against Beelzebub’s better judgment, they kissed him back.

He pulled away and dropped his head to their shoulder. “Beelzebub…” he breathed out reverently, like an incantation.

They wanted to pull him up by his hair and kiss him again, but there was something that needed to be sorted out first. “I never told you my name,” they said chidingly.

Gabriel jolted up, his back ramrod straight. He blinked at them. “Fuck,” he muttered. Then, he rested his head on their shoulder again, and laughed. Beelzebub couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corners of their mouth, and then they started laughing too.

“I knew you would be the first to break,” they said smugly. 

“It was worth it to kiss you, though,” he said. Then, he looked up at them, and his eyes were still shining bright with mirth, but there was a hint of insecurity in them too, a desperate need to be praised. “Did I do well? Was it good for you?”

Beelzebub usually wasn’t generous with praise, but Gabriel had met all of their needs with such care that they wanted to give him what he needed too. “It was perfect,” they said. Gabriel’s radiant grin made its usual appearance, before he surged forward and pressed his lips to theirs again.

After a long kiss, he helped Beelzebub down from the counter, and they pulled their pants back up. Their legs wobbled as they stood. His dick really was enormous, and they were going to feel the soreness for a few days. They wanted to keep that reminder with them, when their work usually kept them apart except for these secret meetings. 

“I get to pick the scenario next week, right?” Gabriel said, pulling up his sweatpants.

Beelzebub bit their lip as their eyes roamed over his body. They still couldn’t help but check him out in those, even after he had thoroughly taught them a lesson. “Sure, as long as you wear those sweatpants again.”


End file.
